A Lot of Firsts

I am currently very amused by the fact that my last blog post was in 2011 . . . 

That just goes to show you how busy and distracted I've been for the last 6 years of my life.  When I say "busy" and "distracted," I mean that in the best of ways.  Instead of writing a novel about what has happened the last 6 years, I will just say this - it has been some of the sweetest and most precious times in my life.  Having babies was intoxicating for me . . . every bit of it. In the last 6 years, I have been pregnant 4 times and have 3 amazingly beautiful gifts from God on earth and one in heaven I will see one day.   

So here it is . . . the last couple of months have brought a lot of "firsts" for me.  While the parenting journey is a daily series of "firsts," these have been extra special and I have The H. E. Butt Family Foundation and Laity Lodge Family Camp to thank for that.  If you haven't heard of Laity Lodge Family Camp, I would encourage you to run to your computer and start looking at how you can make it possible to experience this place at some point in your life.  

I am one week removed from spending 3 nights and 4 days at Laity Lodge Family Camp (LLFC) with my husband, Charlie, and our 3 babies, Annie, Maggie, and Luke.  The mission of Laity Lodge Family Camp is to create space where families can engage with one another and connect with God in significant ways.

"Create Space"  What exactly does this mean?  Let me explain it from my first hand experience . . . 

Cary Hendricks, Director of LLFC, talks about creating a space where you can be free of all the distractions of this messy life we live and focus on your family and relationship with God.  That's just what we did.  

During one of the activity sessions, our littlest one, Luke (2 years old) was in Kid's Club, and Annie (6), Maggie (4), Charlie and I went to paint pottery with our girls. We all picked out what we wanted to paint, listened to the instructions of painting enough coats, choosing colors, and the process of how it would be "fired" in an oven to give it a perfect glaze to take home as our keepsake.  I chose a coffee mug, Charlie picked up a small floral bowl (for when I take off my jewelry at night), and both the girls chose a heart shaped "box" of sorts where they could store their treasures.  Once we all picked out our colors and sat down, it wasn't 5 minutes before I started to realize Annie's frustration with her painting performance.  Maggie, in her free spirit, was going to town and so pleased at how everything was turning out.  Annie was not.  She started talking about how she "messed up" and got a little dab of another color paint on the part where she only wanted pink.  I gently leaned over and showed her how we could blend the colors together and that it was no big deal.  She went on and it wasn't another 5 minutes before she had silent tears rolling down her face.  I stopped what I was doing and told Charlie I was going to take her outside.

I walked around the corner, sat Annie in my lap in a rocking chair and asked her what was going on.  She started bawling and telling me that she "wasn't good at anything" and that "everyone was doing things better than her." Hearing these words come out of my firstborn daughter's mouth was gut-wrenching.  I sat her up and told her to look at me in the eyes.  I told her she was beautifully and wonderfully made by God and that God, Daddy and I thought she was perfect.  I started crying with her and told her that what she was saying was lies from the devil and that Mommy has the same struggles as she does.  I asked her if she wanted me to tell her all the things she was good at.  She replied "nothing Mommy, I am not good at anything." I told her to look at me again and through my tears, started rapidly naming off all the things she was good at.  While I was naming these things, she started to deep breath and calm down.  I did not teach her this but it is the same thing I do when my anxiety creeps up on me out of nowhere . . . 

There is more to this story but I mainly wanted to write this short segment and say thank you Laity Lodge Family Camp for creating a space for me to recognize that my precious, 6 year old daughter might have some of the same tendencies and struggles I do.  I now know to encourage and lift her up more.  I now know the importance of hammering into her that she is beautifully and wonderfully made in God's image and that we are not what we do.  We are God's children and in His sight, we are perfect and that alone is ENOUGH.

So, from the bottom of my heart, I am eternally grateful that LLFC created a space for me to cry with my daughter and speak God's truth into her little soul.  It may not have been the "right" thing to say or do, but it is what flowed out of my mouth at the time.

Here are our precious children. Annie Grace Givens . . . aka "munchkin" is to the left of me in this picture.